OK, not despairing as I was before.

Prayer can renew your heart. Totally. I love doing it, I feel better already. If you've been reading the post immediately before this one, I was despondant and fearing. I fear no less now I think, but I am not cheerless and depressed either. I am afraid, but excited, and joyful, and I think, less of a jerk than I was before. A little at least, I hope. Do read that post though, it is an excellent window into the heart of a desparing man who fears that he may be led astray from Christ. And in fact, it is somethign that can happen, but I have a warrior on my side who will not go gentily into the night. He will wage battle on behalf of my soul forever and ever untill the ending of days. I do not struggle alone, and in the end, I will make it in his Grace if I should choose to hold true to his teachings and his word.

Make me more hearing of thy truest teachings of Lord Jesus Christ. For I am in need.

Also, I really like St. Sebastian the Martyr. If there is a way, and I am going to investegate this, of taking his name as well as the name of my Patron Alexios, I am going to do it. Perhaps I can have an Orthodox middle name?

Alexey Sebastian Tilton. Good sounding name I think.

Here is an Icon of St. Sebastian.



Alexey the Sinner