And if you take away Delaware that leaves four...
....grad schools. I've determined that the Linguistics program at the University of Delaware is not what I want. I don't want a PhD in linguistics. I want it in Cognitive Psychology. That's what I am, a Psychologist, not a Linguist. In the realm of Psycholinguistics the two merge, but they take very different theoretical perspectives and are rarely interested in the same thing, though their research is, oftentimes, identical. So that leaves Michigan, Michigan State (which is sending me stuff), SUNY Buffalo, and Johns Hopkins. God only knows...
What else... OK, blackjack last friday netted me $125. I splurged and bought a refrigerator full of groceries. Seriously, I'm a single college guy living alone, this is major for me. In fact, I can't remember the last time it happened. Or if it happened at all...
Spiritually doing OK, not great but not bad either. Well, being that I'm human and I'm not eating one dry roll every three weeks in a hermatge on Mt. Athos and being visited by angels, I am by definition so horrible that only the fact that I am blind to how horrible I am is what keeps me sane. But all things being relative, I'm still floating along. I did have a nice awakening to the depth of my own wrechedness a couple of weeks ago though. I got a nice long, and very clear look at just how bad I really am. It was staggering, and sobering, and frightening. There is this abyssal chasam of awfulness that I've dug out of the landscape of my past, so vast in scope that I could not concieve of a way to repay it all, nor ever earn my way out of it. But everything the fathers say tells me that I ought to hold out hope. No matter how bad I've been theres always another chance to do it right. One of the desert fathers, when asked if a man could possibly lay a new foundation every day, answered that, "I believe, that with great effort, a man can lay a new foundation at every moment". I cling to this wisdom like a lifejacket. I try, and I fail, and I try and I fail. The enormity of my impurity and brokenness is staggering, but mercy and grace are infinite, and the giver thereof desires that I should be with Him unto eternity, and therfore when I ask for forgiveness, he eshews me with it, and when I ask for grace, it flows from him as far as the east is from the west and reaches even unto the edge of the pit I have dug for myself, offering me a bridge over which to cross.
Forgive me, Lord Jesus Christ, a sinner.
Alexey
What else... OK, blackjack last friday netted me $125. I splurged and bought a refrigerator full of groceries. Seriously, I'm a single college guy living alone, this is major for me. In fact, I can't remember the last time it happened. Or if it happened at all...
Spiritually doing OK, not great but not bad either. Well, being that I'm human and I'm not eating one dry roll every three weeks in a hermatge on Mt. Athos and being visited by angels, I am by definition so horrible that only the fact that I am blind to how horrible I am is what keeps me sane. But all things being relative, I'm still floating along. I did have a nice awakening to the depth of my own wrechedness a couple of weeks ago though. I got a nice long, and very clear look at just how bad I really am. It was staggering, and sobering, and frightening. There is this abyssal chasam of awfulness that I've dug out of the landscape of my past, so vast in scope that I could not concieve of a way to repay it all, nor ever earn my way out of it. But everything the fathers say tells me that I ought to hold out hope. No matter how bad I've been theres always another chance to do it right. One of the desert fathers, when asked if a man could possibly lay a new foundation every day, answered that, "I believe, that with great effort, a man can lay a new foundation at every moment". I cling to this wisdom like a lifejacket. I try, and I fail, and I try and I fail. The enormity of my impurity and brokenness is staggering, but mercy and grace are infinite, and the giver thereof desires that I should be with Him unto eternity, and therfore when I ask for forgiveness, he eshews me with it, and when I ask for grace, it flows from him as far as the east is from the west and reaches even unto the edge of the pit I have dug for myself, offering me a bridge over which to cross.
Forgive me, Lord Jesus Christ, a sinner.
Alexey
posted by Alexios at 1:33 AM
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