Wow.
I really need to learn to not write Blog entries when I'm feeling emotional. Seriously. Never write anything that will be visible to the public when you aren't clear headed.
I'll endeavor to not do that again.
-Alexei
I'll endeavor to not do that again.
-Alexei
posted by Alexios at 12:58 PM
1 Comments:
Blogger doesn't let you go and delete or deit old posts?
Alex, I was in the same situation when I was single and BEFORE being Orthodox. So don't blame Orthodoxy. In my case, there was no "jurisidictional delimna", I didn't have to marry in the Assemblies of God. BUT, I wanted a righteous woman who loved God and was on the same wave length with me about what it meant to follow Him. That is a hard find no matter where God has you.
I told you the story before, but I'll repeat it. It was when I made my peace with God, when I was able to finally tell Him, "I love and trust You, even if your will for me is to be single the rest of my life," that Sh. Kelley entered my life. Actually she was there all along.
JUst like God was not interested in Isaac's life, but was really interested in Abraham's obedience and trust, so to that is what He wanted from me. I had to lay down the desire I had for my life, and learn to desire GOD's will for my life.
I'm not saying, that if you do the same, your mate will suddenly appear. I am saying that you will becoem happy no matter WHAT God has in store for you. Its martyrdom. Asceticism. Servanthood. Whatever you want to call it. Its how the martyrs could go joyfully to their death. Its how Mother Mary could spend decades in the wilderness and not go insane. ANd it is how we too lead a joyful life.
St. Paul said something to the effect, "I have decided that whatever state I am in, to always be content." How could he say such a thing? He was shipwrecked, beaten, whipped, stoned, etc. Because his suffering had a purpose.
Your suffering is very real and I don't wish to belittle it. But you too can find joy and meaning in your suffering, by an act of the will, enabled by the Holy Spirit.
The Theotokos, the Saints, and all the hosts of Angels are praying for you and rooting for you Alexey. Don't dig up in doubt, what you have sowed in faith.
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