Now then...
...So when last I posted, I was feeling unable to follow Orthodoxy for various reasons and I hadn't been to church in months.
Mostly it was the being alone part. Well, things have gotten complicated.
I don't know what kind of people you are, but some Orthodox would suck in a breath or bulge their eyes at me. Even though I can't see it, if that's what you're prone to, try to suppress the reflex.
I've got a girlfriend, but she's an Atheist.
But wait, there's more!
Her logic is that if you were going to be religious, you would have to be completely Orthodox, because either that holy book you believe in is true, or it isn't. And if it is, you are never ever allowed to change it just because you want to, like the Catholics and Protestants do.
But of course, she doesn't believe it. Didn't stop me from falling for her, but she doesn't.
So...if you're a long time reader of this blog, then you know that this has happened before. My first Girlfriend, Megan, was also an atheist. But she believed that religion was "A delusion people use because they're afraid of death."
So...in the end that one probably wouldn't have worked out anyway.
Lindsey, by contrast, simply disagrees with the conclusion that there is a God, but admits that it is just her opinion. Furthermore, she pointed out that if you're really an Atheist, death is nothing to be afraid of. But if you're religious, then death should scare you.
Wow! Cool eh? Consistent, well thought out logic.
If only the church would let me marry her.
When last I was still going to church it made me depressed. I would see people with their families. They had spouses and children, brothers and sisters...But not me. I was there all alone with nobody to go home to to share the struggle of the faith.
And because I wasn't married before I joined the church, I didn't even have a non-Orthodox wife for a companion. On top of which I lived alone for three years.
My sanity suffered somewhat from this.
So finally, along comes this girl and asks me out.
And the tragic irony is this: Her position on faith is infinitely more defensible than that of a Catholic girl that the Church would actually let me marry.
Anyway, that's where things are.
-Alexei
Mostly it was the being alone part. Well, things have gotten complicated.
I don't know what kind of people you are, but some Orthodox would suck in a breath or bulge their eyes at me. Even though I can't see it, if that's what you're prone to, try to suppress the reflex.
I've got a girlfriend, but she's an Atheist.
But wait, there's more!
Her logic is that if you were going to be religious, you would have to be completely Orthodox, because either that holy book you believe in is true, or it isn't. And if it is, you are never ever allowed to change it just because you want to, like the Catholics and Protestants do.
But of course, she doesn't believe it. Didn't stop me from falling for her, but she doesn't.
So...if you're a long time reader of this blog, then you know that this has happened before. My first Girlfriend, Megan, was also an atheist. But she believed that religion was "A delusion people use because they're afraid of death."
So...in the end that one probably wouldn't have worked out anyway.
Lindsey, by contrast, simply disagrees with the conclusion that there is a God, but admits that it is just her opinion. Furthermore, she pointed out that if you're really an Atheist, death is nothing to be afraid of. But if you're religious, then death should scare you.
Wow! Cool eh? Consistent, well thought out logic.
If only the church would let me marry her.
When last I was still going to church it made me depressed. I would see people with their families. They had spouses and children, brothers and sisters...But not me. I was there all alone with nobody to go home to to share the struggle of the faith.
And because I wasn't married before I joined the church, I didn't even have a non-Orthodox wife for a companion. On top of which I lived alone for three years.
My sanity suffered somewhat from this.
So finally, along comes this girl and asks me out.
And the tragic irony is this: Her position on faith is infinitely more defensible than that of a Catholic girl that the Church would actually let me marry.
Anyway, that's where things are.
-Alexei
posted by Alexios at 1:41 PM
5 Comments:
...of course, one might also think that Lindsey was steered into your path for the health and salvation of her soul.
Also, you might want to check out Fr. Schmeman's book "For the Life of the World" for a great reason why Christianity--that is, true, Orthodox Christianity--is not a religion, because your girlfriend is right, religions are about the fear of death.
I continue to pray for you, Alexei. Sometimes, the crosses we are given to bear are very unfair.
"like the Catholics and Protestants do."
??
Preaching and accusing do no good, I wil stick to praying for you. :)
A blessed and happy name day to you, Alexios!
"Alexey the sinner"?.....a bit melodramic isn't it? That title just groups you with everyone else, including the people going to church. You say you have not been following Othodoxy, any of it? Or just the part about going to church? I'm sorry, I don't mean to come off as curt, but I just found your blog unclear. I was raised Russian Orhtodox, by my grandmother. She didn't have custody of us, we were just with her alot. When we were, we went to church several times a week. My grandmother was very faithful, as is my sister.....I on the other hand.....let's just say, not quite as committed.
I went to church for years, and followed Orthodoxy to the letter, thanks to my grandmother. When I got older, "independent", I stopped going on a regular basis, then stopped going at all. I've gone back a few times, but not for the last few years. You said when you went to church you became depressed because you were lonely, or alone. Everyone else had a spouse, children, brothers/sisters, etc, but you went home alone. There was no one to "struggle with faith" with. I don't see how that has anything to do with the church or religion, it had to do with your life.
Don't get me wrong, I am not judging you. I lived alone for years and loved it. When I met my husband and we stared going out, although he wasn't Russian Orthodox, he went to church with me a few times. When we decided to get married, I couldn't get married in the church unless he converted to Russian Orthodox. He didn't want to, he is not a religious man, although baptized, he was never practicing. He does not recall ever going to church when he was growing up. And, I didn't see the point of putting pressure on him to get baptized Russian Orhodox. I loved him, he loved me, he's a good man....Reno here we come. We have now been married 18 years.
I didn't agree with the church trying to dictate a change that is so very personal. I always believed that, because we were given free will, the church, whatever church you belong to, is there to guide us, not to dictate our lives. On this, many people disagree with me. My sister tells me that my grandmother is looking down at me and shaking her head in dismay, which I can so see her doing, probably because I saw it so often when she was alive. But my view is different than what her was. Not wrong, not right for everyone, but right for me.
About Lindsey's opinion, if it's right for her, then it's right. However, I do diagree with the fear of death thing. Religion, I think, puts fear in you for after death, not death itself. There is no religion that will tell you that your body will never die. However, they do have a lot to tell you about where your eternal soul can end up, good and bad. Personally I do not fear death, there is no escape, everyone is going to die, I see no sense in fearing what you know will happen. With that said, the manner of which I may die, scares the $%#& out of me.
There is also the argument that with athiesism there is no fear of death, because they believe that is the end. Whatever they have or have not done in their lifes, there are no consequeses for whatever decisions and/or choices they have made.
I believe, that the majority of people, whether religious or not, are good people. For those of us who are regilious/believe, we sin, we have remorse, we try to do better. For who do not believe, they have a good moral compass, it may get pulled of course every once in a while, but not for long. No one is immune to sin, whether that is what you call it or not, so just by naming yourself "Alexay the Sinner" you are not alone.
I apologize if I have gone on too long. This is actually the first time I have ever commented on a blog, so I am not familiar with the protocol.
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